Proof that I think too much

"There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is a rapture on the lonely shore,

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea, and music in its roar:

I love not man the less, but Nature more."

On the very top of the list of films that changed my life, I place 'Into the Wild'. The film (journey? Experience) opens with this quote from Lord Byron's 'Childe Harold's Pilgrimage', which I'm not familiar with, but now desperately seek out. Without ruining the story (because that is an unforgivable crime) I'd like to give a brief synopsis.It begins with young Christopher McCandless graduating from college, then throwing away the $25,000 he saved to explore America. The breathtaking scenery, fantastic characters Chris AKA Alexander Supertramp meets and the interesting take on camera angles and production all added up to make the second movie ever to make me cry.

By the time I had finished watching the mesmerizing two-and-a-half hours of the movie, I felt that life was just a complete waste of time. That may not sound like a good thing, but it proves just how powerful this movie is. I urge everyone to view it. Throughout the movie I found myself thinking, "This should be me! I want the things the Supertramp has. Perhaps I should just take off." In fact, by the time it was over and I'd recovered from my weeping fit, I had the strongest urge to bolt out my caravan door and see the world. But I didn't. Instead, I poured my heart out onto a pagev at one in the morning:

"I have found the meaning of life, and it is happiness. To find happiness - pure, idylic, perfect happiness - is what I know I must now strive for. But where can it be found? In everything I do there is a feeling that I am wasting my life, but what activity or person or place can I discover that seems worthwhile?

Perhaps happiness is in my head. Man never ceases to be unsatisfied, and I'm not foolish enough to believe that I'm so different. "Happiness" is a state of mind that brings contentment in everything I do. If I can't get to that place in my mind, then bliss is a lost cause. But does that mean that I should find fulfillment in mediocrity? I need to discover things, to explore, to 'live'. Cultural norms and niceties are holding me back. To be happy, I think I need to throw my life away, and just see what happens."

Conclusive proof that I must be institutionalized, before I hurt myself.